NDHQ Elevator Operators Ascend to Senior Leadership Roles
OTTAWA, ON - The Carling Campus, a bastion of bureaucratic brilliance, has taken a leap into the future by automating its elevators. But what’s really got eyebrows reaching for the ceiling is the dazzling promotion of elevator operators to senior leadership roles. It’s like the military’s age-old tradition of turning fighter pilots into top dogs, but with a vertical twist.
As the once-familiar elevator operator greetings are replaced by the gentle hum of machinery, the NDHQ halls echo with curious excitement. “Elevator operators know all about the ups and downs, so handling budgets should be a breeze, right?” chuckles Major Liftwell, the newly minted Director of Strategic Planning, now maneuvering financial forecasts as deftly as he did elevator floors.
The logic behind this ingenious move is as straightforward as it is bewilderingly consistent with military logic. “Promoting pilots has been our ticket to success, so why not keep the magic alive?” ponders Brigadier General Harrison Skyler, now as comfortable orchestrating office meetings as he was commanding aerial sorties.
The freshly appointed “Ascendant Leaders,” a.k.a. the former elevator operators, embrace their roles with the same spirit that once elevated their colleagues. “It’s like my old gig, but with more paperwork,” grins Upton Freskel, now steering the ship as Deputy Director of International Relations. “And the thrill of an imminent promotion beats the excitement of any sudden elevator halt.”
Despite murmurs of skepticism and raised eyebrows, NDHQ stands by its decision with steadfast determination. After all, whether you’re conquering the skies or ensuring the seamless flow of elevators, leadership is leadership. So, next time you’re at NDHQ and spot a former elevator maestro now steering the ship, remember; they’re elevating innovation, one floor at a time.