The Western Hoser

CALGARY, CANADA - Welcome to “The Western Hoser’s Guide to Sports”! We’re not just a bunch of beer-guzzling, toque-wearing, hockey-obsessed hicks from the Great White North. No, sir! We take our sports seriously - even if we don’t always take ourselves seriously.

First up, let’s talk about hockey. It’s the only sport that truly matters, right? Nothing gets a Canadian’s heart pumping like a good old-fashioned game of shinny. And who cares if our teeth get knocked out - we’ll just drink more beer and call it a night!

But hockey’s not the only game in town. We also have curling - or as we like to call it, “ice sweeping.” It’s a sport that combines the thrilling excitement of sweeping a kitchen floor with the heart-pounding intensity of watching paint dry.

Of course, we also have other sports that we dabble in, like baseball, football, and basketball. But let’s be honest, they’re just poor imitations of the real thing. Who needs touchdowns and home runs when you can have slap shots and hat tricks.

And let’s not forget about the Olympics. Every four years, we get to show the world what we’re made of. Sure, we may not win the most medals, but we’re always in the running for the gold in beer drinking.

So there you have it, folks - “The Western Hoser’s Guide to Sports.” We may not take ourselves too seriously, but we know how to have a good time. Now if you’ll excuse us, we have a game of pond hockey to get to - and a case of Molson to finish off. Cheers!