Breaking News: SSC Cyberattack Leaks Thousands of Passwords, Including Minister's Dog's Name and Year of Birth
OTTAWA, ON - Shared Services Canada (SSC) is reeling from a massive cyberattack that has leaked thousands of passwords, including sensitive personal information such as the Minister’s dog’s name and year of birth.
SSC has confirmed that the breach occurred over the Easter long weekend and has exposed the login credentials of many government officials.
According to sources close to the investigation, the passwords leaked in the attack were shockingly weak, consisting of a proper noun with the first letter capitalized, followed by two or more numbers such as “Justin01” and “Trudeau02”.
In response to the breach, SSC has vowed to take cybersecurity more seriously as it’s a pressing threat. Helena Jaczek, the Minister of Public Services and Procurement, has promised to conduct a fair and impartial process to procure a new password policy, with experts agreeing that the procurement process should be complete in 2033.
“This breach is a wake-up call for everyone to take their passwords seriously,” said an SSC spokesperson. “We urge all Canadians to change their passwords immediately and to use strong and unique passwords for every account.”
The leak has raised concerns about SSC’s ability to protect information and has prompted calls for a full review of the agency’s cybersecurity protocols.
“I am deeply concerned about the security of our nation’s sensitive information,” said opposition leader and crypto fanboy Pierre Poilievre. “We need to ensure that SSC is taking all necessary steps to prevent breaches like this from happening in the future.”
SSC has assured the public that they are working tirelessly to investigate the breach and that they will take all necessary measures to prevent future attacks.
In the meantime, experts are urging Canadians to take the security of their personal information seriously and to ensure that their passwords are strong and unique.