Disney World Banning "Disney Adults" and Requiring All Guests to Accompany Children
HALIFAX, NS - In a shocking move, Disney World has announced that they will be banning “Disney Adults” from their parks and requiring all guests to accompany children. The decision comes after years of complaints from families about the behavior of overweight middle-aged women and their man-child partners.
“Enough is enough,” said a spokesperson for Disney World. “We understand that everyone wants to experience the magic of Disney, but these so-called ‘Disney Adults’ have taken it too far. They plan their trips down to the minute, they’re only interested in getting the perfect Instagram shot, and they’ve completely ruined the experience for families.”
The new policy will go into effect immediately, and all guests will be required to show proof of age for all children in their party. Anyone caught trying to enter the park without a child will be turned away.
“We want to ensure that our parks remain a place for families to come and create memories,” said the spokesperson. “We understand that some adults love Disney just as much as kids do, but there are limits. We can’t have grown adults pushing kids out of the way to get a picture with Mickey Mouse.”
The decision has sparked outrage among the “Disney Adult” community, who claim that they are being unfairly targeted. “This is discrimination,” said one self-proclaimed “Disney Adult.” “Why should I have to be accompanied by a child just to enjoy the magic of Disney?”
But many families are welcoming the new policy. “It’s about time,” said one mother of two. “We’ve been coming to Disney World for years, and every time we’re here, we see these overweight women and their man-child partners taking over the park. They’re always in the way, and they never seem to care about the kids around them.”
Disney World is urging all guests to comply with the new policy, and they’re reminding everyone that the parks are for families first and foremost. “We’re not trying to be mean,” said the spokesperson. “We just want to make sure that everyone has a great time at Disney World, and that families can create the memories that will last a lifetime.”
As for the “Disney Adults,” they’ll just have to find a new place to indulge in their love of all things Disney. Maybe they can start their own theme park, where they can take as many Instagram photos as they want without bothering anyone else.